Paul L. Caron

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Judge Drops Charges Against Cop for Oral Sex With Five Calves

Nontax, but too weird to be ignored -- from the Philadelphia Daily News:

[A] Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn't infer whether the cows had been "tormented" or "puzzled" by the situation or even irritated that they'd been duped out of a meal

 "If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, 'Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk,' " Judge James J. Morley asked.

Children, Morley said, seemed "comforted" when given pacifiers, but there's no way to know what bovine minds thought of Robert Melia Jr. substituting his member for a cow's teat.

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If one of those cows had bitten down, the case could be excused for lack of evidence.

Posted by: Woody | Sep 29, 2009 3:02:00 PM

I hate to disagree with your normally fine-tuned blogging discernment, Professor, but I do think you could have ignored this story and Tax Land would be none the worse for it.

Posted by: Nemo Dat | Sep 29, 2009 5:54:14 PM