I wish I could say that I became a tax attorney because of my love for numbers and clear cut rules, but the truth of the matter is that I became a tax lawyer for the same reason that musicians join bands – for the chicks. As you all know, women go wild over a single tax attorney with an adjusted gross income of $148,238, no dependents and a record of no audits. In fact, upon seeing my tax return on a blind date, a few women have become so love struck that they became physically ill. They must have known right then that they were no match for a true tax player.
However, that’s fine with me, because it just leaves more room for the rest of the honeys. And with tax season rolling around, I’m like that old woman in the show. I’ve got so many women, I don’t know what to do.
Just last week, I was parking in the garage of my fully depreciable condo when I was approached by one of my neighbors, Cindy. “Excuse me,” she said, “You wouldn’t happen to be a tax lawyer, would you?” I wonder what gave me away – my personalized license plate – TAXPLAYA?
When I confirmed that I was a tax lawyer, I could see the look of lust already forming in her eyes. Of course, after practicing for three years, I’ve become accustomed to this type of reaction, so I played it cool. “And how may I help you?” I asked, giving her that “Come to Poppa” look they teach in the LLM programs.