Friday, August 22, 2014
Sonya Huber (Fairfield University), Shadow Syllabus:
- I could hardly hear my own professors when I was in college over the din and roar of my own fear.
- Those who aim for A’s don’t get as many A’s as those who abandon the quest for A’s and seek knowledge or at least curiosity. ...
- The goals and outcomes I am required to put on my syllabus make me depressed; they are the illusion of controlling what cannot be controlled.
- I end up changing everything halfway through the semester anyway because the plan on paper is never what the living class ends up being about.
- I desperately needed A’s when I was in college because I didn’t know what else I was besides an A.
- Our flaws make us human; steer toward yours. I steer toward mine. That won’t always be rewarded in “the real world.” ...
- I realize that I, as the authority figure in this room, might trigger all kinds of authority issues you have. Welcome to work and the rest of your life. ...
- One of you who is filled with hate for this class right now will end up loving it by the end.
- One of you who I believe to be unteachable and filled with hate for me will end up being my favorite.
- One of you will drive me bat-shit crazy and there’s nothing I can do about it.
- Later I will examine the reason you drive me bat-shit crazy and be ashamed and then try to figure out my own limitations. ...
- Sometimes I will be annoyed, sarcastic, rushed, or sad; often this is because you are not doing the readings or trying to bullshit me.
- Students are surprised by this fact: I really really really want you to learn. Like, that’s my THING. Really really a lot. ...
- Everyone sees you texting. It’s awkward, every time, for everyone in the room. ...
- Secret: I get nervous before each class because I want to do well.
- Secret: when I over-plan my lessons, less learning happens.
- Secret: I have to plan first and THEN abandon the plan while still remembering its outline.
- Secret: It’s hard to figure out whether to be a cop or a third-grade teacher. I have to be both. I want to be Willie Wonka. That’s the ticket. Unpredictable, not always nice, high standards, and sometimes candy. ...
- Secret: Every single one of your professors and teachers has been at a point of crisis in their lives where they had no idea what the fuck to do.
- Come talk to me in my office hours, but not to spin some thin line of bullshit, because believe it or not, I can see through it like a windowpane.
- Some of you will lose this piece of paper because you’ve had other people to smooth out your papers and empty your backpack for as long as you can remember, but that all ends here. There’s no one to empty your backpack. That’s why college is great and scary.
- Maybe there’s never been anyone to empty your backpack. If there hasn’t been, you will have a harder time feeling entitled to come talk to me or ask for help.
- I want you, especially, to come talk to me.
- You can swear in my classroom.
- Welcome. Welcome to this strange box with chairs in it. I hope you laugh and surprise yourself.