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Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Onion: Speculation About Romney's Taxes

The Onion LogoThe Onion:  Speculation About Romney's Taxes:

As Democrats continue to press Mitt Romney to release more of his tax records, the Republican candidate has become more assertive in his rejection of such calls, leading many to speculate about what the filings contain. Here are some of the details experts suggest he may not want the public to see:

  • List of residences includes Caribbean property named “Skull Island
  • Used Obama’s $6,500 homebuyer credit for six different houses in 2010
  • From 2002 to 2006, official occupation was listed as “masseuse”
  • Wrote off $10,000 in aftershave during 2004
  • Really shitty handwriting for someone who expects to be elected president
  • Years of filings in state of Delaware prove definitively that the candidate himself is a corporation
  • In 2009, thanks to clever accounting, the IRS actually paid Romney $25 million in taxes
  • Just doesn’t want people to see so many pages of official documents that list his first name as Willard

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Comments

A former Romney associate at Bain Capital told Sen. Harry Reid that Romney signed his wife's name on their tax returns -- proof that he's a felon.

Posted by: Woody | Aug 5, 2012 3:57:36 PM

I guess the Dems had to say SOMETHING in response to the many years of speculation about Obama's birth certificate.

Sincerely and officially sick and tired of the bickering party lines. Seems like it's a college pre-game our-team-wants-to-beat-your-team-and-we-will-say-anything-assinine-to-rile-everyone-up-yay-go-team! How about making the US the team, not the football field?

Posted by: Patti | Aug 6, 2012 11:12:11 AM

My guess is that he's got huge foreign tax credits for income from overseas investments.

Posted by: Marilyn | Aug 6, 2012 4:48:40 PM

People are making the biggest deals out of the littlest issues. "Whatever is the most inflammatory, let's get after it," seems to be the mentality this election season. Who cares what is on his tax return, as long as he hasn't reported anything fraudulently? Why would anyone care that he followed the tax code and regs AS THEY ARE VOTED IN BY CONGRESS (and we the people put those folks in Congress over the years)? You and Obama both would do the same thing to lower your taxes. We're all for tax breaks when it benefits ourselves, but let someone else take advantage of a tax break code section we're personally not eligible for, and watch the fireworks begin. Especially if they're on the opposite side of the fence. Why are people harping on someone doing something legally that is not unethical or immoral? Are they thinking he's going to be reporting massive gambling winnings, or income from dope sales? PUH-LEEZE! And if he did, at least he reported them unlike millions of others who would not. And there are no signs of addiction, so I highly doubt he would have a need to report anything like these. So what if he has offshore investments, receiving foreign tax credits on the income. That's written in the code and regs, too. Yes, we would ALL rather see someone invest in a U.S.-based business, but right now the return on that investment is pretty stinky, and you as an individual aren't going to get a tax credit for it that beats the foreign tax credit. What are people looking for, a perfect human being that gives everything to the poor yet can still lead people? Last person who did that died on the cross.

Congress needs to get a clue that their re-writing the code and regs is turning into, well, have you ever tried to untangle a chain that is brittle, rusty and tied up in knots? I'm not for completely doing away with taxes (gotta pay for infrastructure somehow), but boy does that need cleaned up and streamlined. We need to be more careful about who we vote in, stop asking ourselves,"how does this benefit me," and ask, instead, "how does this benefit/protect/grow our American citizens, our American businesses, our security as a nation, etc?"

I apologize for my rant to all good citizens who have good common sense and intelligence, but not to those who choose to write moronic inflammatory sarcastic speculative crap in times like these to get a laugh at the expense of our country or any presidential candidate.

Posted by: Patti | Aug 7, 2012 11:09:54 AM

Patti, the point is that we don't know what Mr. Romney reported on his tax returns. Maybe the returns are totally legit. Maybe he took advantage of the IRS' amnesty for unreported foreign bank accounts. Who knows? We don't know because Mr. Romney has unilaterally exempted himself from the 35-year tradition of presidential candidates releasing multiple years of tax returns. BTW, lack of respect for tradition is not the hallmark of a conservative.

Posted by: Publius Novus | Aug 8, 2012 11:26:40 AM

The point is that a asserting that a man who has actually given millions to charity is a tax cheat, based on NO EVIDENCE is silly.

Of course the Obama administration has an organization to enforce tax law. It is called the IRS. They don't seem to be going after Romney.

If you want to go after a tax cheat, see Tim the head of the Obama Treasury Department.

Posted by: DonM | Aug 8, 2012 4:53:33 PM

BULL-PUCKEY! Just a distraction from the lies and deception and the Executive Orders against the Constitution by Obama. Let's not deport illegals who are caught in felonies. Instead, let's give them work permits. Then when our troops come home, all the jobs will be taken by illegals, with none left for American military. Oh yeah! And let's continue to increase the debt with 16,5000 new IRS auditors. And let's continue to raise th debt for supporting entitlements to illegals who claim they have no denero, but manange just fine paying their rent, mortgages and utilities, and put gas in their vehicles, plue buy all the toys requested for their 6 to 10 children.
Pardon me while I put my finger down my throat.

Posted by: GAIL | Aug 10, 2012 7:22:15 PM