Thursday, March 26, 2009
In a humorous jibe at the AIG bonus tax, Steven D. Lofchie, co-chair of Cadwalader's Financial Services Department, has posted a "Clients & Friends" tax memo on the firm's web site: The Manny Ramirez Lightbulb: Also (2 Ideas in 1 Memo) Putting Pay in Perspective:
My Idea. Lightbulb! Goes off! A lightbulb in my mind shining for all the world see my brain's idea! Why not a tax! Because the BoSox receive State Aid (all MLB sports teams do), Massachusetts Secretary of State Galvin, whom I would bet is a huge BoSox fan, should drop a big tax like a bombshell on Manny's salary, which is basically Stolen Money from State Revenues. And I'm not talking about some lame 90% tax either that lets Manny walk all the way (the guy wouldn't even run there on his fake bad knees) laughing out loud to the bank with $2MM (10% of 20MM). Boston has no place for 90% ballplayers. I am looking for the big three digits (110%!).
A Lightbulb in New York. New York State may also use My Idea. Getting back some of that Stephon Marbury money would help the Knicks' salary cap and leave money on the side to pay to put solar panels in Madison Square Garden so as to cook "green" [environmentally conscious and friendly] hot dogs.
Alex, Meet Andrew. Can you just imagine next year, one Sunday morning, Alex Rodriguez, reading the New York Times, goes out in his bathrobe to pick up the newspapers, in his fuzzy Yankee Slippers and robe that he got either for free or at a big discount, and there is a tax lien on his illgotten McMansions in his mailbox. Because Alex somehow "forgot" to withhold to pay the taxes that Mr. Cuomo is going to impose on him for letting down the Yankees (who receive major funding from the City and can't even make the playoffs paying ten times more in salary and "bonuses" than Tampa Bay). You say Mr. A.G. Cuomo can not put a lien on Alex's houses because the tax bill hasn't been passed yet by our lame legislature. That is a lame excuse, kind of like Alex's hitting in the big games in a Stadium built with taxpayer money (your taxpayer money and mine). If Alex isn't getting himself prepared for the big tax bill, he needs to wake up and smell the coffee. (Maybe Madonna can brew him some.)
[T]he tax system is completely messed up. ...
A Good Offense. Also, if some team was coming to town that had a dirty player on it, or who talked too fast, or tried to show you up, hit them with the old 200% tax. I’m talking to you, Payton Manning. Double tax. Plus a tax on all products you advertise. And invalidate all the Master Cards.
Do you remember the time Arlen Specter, the Senator from the Steelers, tried to put a tax on the greatest Football Mind of all Time (“FMT”—it’s not you anymore, Vince), Bill Belichick? But Teddy Kennedy, my main man from South Boston,2 completely shot Arlen down. That should teach you a lesson, Arlen: Don’t try to legislate with the big dogs! ...
Earned Income Tax Credit. Should go to guys like Dustin Pedroia: Still on his rookie contract and he is both RoY and MVP. Also to Amir Sadollah, the best ultimate Fighting Champion, ever. Plus, to good art that is not boring. Give an EITC to Beavis and Butthead: Speaking Truth to Power!
As someone who grew up in Boston and had a Bruno Sammartino poster on my bedroom wall, I loved the closing footnote: